SCHOOL "DAZE": Reclaiming Your Natural Self (Part One)
23rd February 2012 | By Mary Miller
Between 1983 and 2006, I had the privilege of working for a non-profit research organization with a mission to develop alternative and complementary pathways to good mental health. We were searching for the most common forms of mental and emotional harm so that we could both track and attempt to resolve these imbalances. It was common knowledge in the field of mental health that improper parenting practices caused long-term emotional harm. However, nowhere in my mental health training was there a single written word about the harmful effects of education practices. In fact, when I began to discuss the potential harm done to children in schools in mental health seminars, many people were upset with me. It was a matter of anger at the messenger because the message about the emotional harm incurred in the process of our schooling was more than some people could bear.
As a culture, we can be fiercely protective of our educational practices. We often celebrate them without discrimination or examination. In this two-part article, I will once again run the risk of being the messenger because I believe that so many people to this day suffer from the damaging effects of current education practices. All too many of us learned all too well how to sit obediently at our desks without acknowledging our natural needs, interests, goals, hopes and dreams. All too many of us still sit in silence, even today, and not speak up for ourselves or dare to reach for our greatest dreams for fear we will, once again, be punished for breaking the rules.
Between 1987 and 2002, I had the opportunity to review over 500 studies and books about the psychological effects of education practices on children. The material was heart-breaking and only verified what we all know instinctively but are afraid to admit out loud. I learned that most human beings learn best in small groups not classes of twenty-five or more. In a group of five, teachers can still relate in a personal manner to each student. Once we exceed this number, most teachers are forced to relate in an impersonal manner, treating each child as if they were all the same... "Class, please stand!" "Class, sit!" "Class open your Spelling Books" "Class, it is time for lunch!" etc, etc. Children need to be treated as individuals, with unique individual feelings, rates of learning, interests, goals, hopes and dreams. They cannot thrive in a one-size-fits-all system. Schools treat children as if all children were exactly the same, as if all children were interested in the same subject, at the same time and learned at the same rate through the same mental mechanisms.
I learned that children do better when they are able to remain with their parents or some other loving, consistent adults until they are between 8 and 10 years old. Each time a child under the age of ten is exposed to a new authority figure, the child must use resources to adjust to that authority figure. It is better for children not to have to make multiple adjustments whenever possible.
It is also better for children not to be subjected to intense linear mental activity until they are at least eight or nine. Children have a natural, healthy inclination to explore the physical world. Once they enter school, children are isolated from physical reality. Children need their hands and eyes on the physical world in order to learn about life. They need to be able to build things, hammer nails, handle wood, plant gardens, sail boats, repair their bikes, replace fuses in the electrical system, fix toilets, and change the oil in the family car just to name a few. Most young adults graduate from high school without knowing the location of the electrical box in the house. Most cannot change a tire, balance a check book nor do they know anything about having and raising a child. These vital connections to the physical world have a stabilizing effect on most human beings and not having these connections produces low level fears.
As you and I know, physical evidence suggests that children are healthier when they get exercise, outdoor exercise far more than "recess" would allow. Children need personal emotional attention, the kind of attention that they might get in a group of five not a group of fifty. Schools treat children as if all children have the same requirements for exercise, and for learning. Memorization of isolated data bits that have no direct meaning in the life of the child is the primary mechanism for learning. Studies show the average adult can recall 5% or less of what they supposedly learned in school. Children are human beings, not little computers that can be down-loaded with pieces of data. No wonder we can recall so little.
Children need to feel supported and not undermined. Grading is a form of public humiliation that amounts to emotional torture for some children. There should be either no grades or all A's for every child. Some children might get to their A's faster than others, but all children should be seen as excellent students not inferior human beings. Every grade below an A is perceived by most children as a sign of personal failure. But the only failure in children is the inability to conform to a corrupt and psychologically damaging system.
To survive in this system, each of us had to develop a survival, secondary adapted personality. This personality solidifies somewhere between the beginning of the second and the end of the third grade. It solidifies when the child concludes that his or her parents are never going to come and rescue him from the school. In some children, this experience registers as a betrayal. They remember being told by their parents how great it will be to go to school and how much the child will learn and have fun. It is not fun to be confined to a chair for five or more hours a day with limited exercise. It is not fun to sit in silence, no longer able to speak freely with friends. It is not fun to live on a school schedule, to no longer eat when you are hungry or drink when you are thirsty. It is not fun to abide by a one size fits all schedule where the only differences noted among children are their grades and where they fall in the class standing. By the time children reach adolescence, most have long forgotten their greatest hopes and dreams and have been programmed into doing something that pleases their parents and teachers.
There is something very wrong here. Now please do not take this article as an assault on teachers. Good teachers are exhausted by the time they are 40 years old because they have been putting themselves between the harmful education practices and the children. They have been trying to absorb the brunt of these practices so the children will be saved. Current education practices can be traced back to Prussia when the government was trying to separate children from their parents so that little boys could be indoctrinated into the military. In this regard, schools were very effective. But, if you consider that all living creatures have specifications or requirements if they are to thrive and grow, exposing children to the psychological effects of current education practices is like placing an orchid in the freezer and expecting it to grow. Orchids live when specific conditions are met. Children thrive mentally and emotionally when certain conditions are met. Those conditions are rarely met within our educational system.
As an author, I am keenly aware that what I write here will not be enough to dismantle our current education system. I realize that many readers may have children in school right now being subjected to these practices. As a parent, you can begin by standing by your children. If your child does not have stellar grades do not make your child wrong for his or her grades. If your child is having trouble with a teacher, do not make it your child’s problem. I will say more about standing by your child in Part Two of this article.
For now, let's take a moment to consider how schooling has affected you in your adult life. Most people have the capacity for a rich, full, happy and satisfying life. So ask yourself right now if you can see any school leftovers in yourself? Can you see times when you act against yourself? Are there times when you don’t stand up for yourself? Do you accept and absorb things that are not good for you because you feel you have no other choice? After 12,000 hours of education, we lose the natural child in us—the one who is creative, intuitive and instinctively intelligent. That natural child is a key component to our emotional well being.
Last Saturday, I was in line at my favorite local coffee shop talking to a fellow-customer. He told me a story about his three-year-old son, Danny. A few days earlier, Danny had gone into a special trunk of costumes located in the garage. Usually, the costumes were reserved for Halloween and certain family events but, Danny wanted to dress up that day so he chose a costume. First, he put on a special superman suit with built-in padding giving the appearance of a large chest and huge biceps. Danny flexed his artificial muscles and "flew" around the garage. Then Danny went back into the trunk and picked out a ruby tiara which he placed on his head.
Danny left his costume on and went with his family to the park where lots of children were playing. He ran over to his father and asked Dad why do you think the grown-ups are looking at me? His father said because they are no longer free to wear superman suits and tiaras to the park. Danny said thanks and went back to play with his friends. So here's to waking up from our School "DAZE" and to breaking out our superman suits and tiaras! Here's to reclaiming our natural child within, to standing up for ourselves and to regaining our natural interests, goals, hopes and dreams! More to come.
Your mental health is your most valuable asset. To learn more about Mary Miller's alternative mental health products and services including seminars, go to www.ichingsystems.net or email Mary Miller directly at ichingsystems@yahoo.com. She will personally answer your email. Wishing you a very happy, satisfying life!
Copyrights: Mary Miller MSW, Health Freedom Advocate and naturalcures.com.
